Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School 

Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School

Once again the British press is full of discussion about children misbehaving in school. And once again the main solution seems to be "exclude the troublemakers from the classroom".

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school. It does annoy me, this kind of nonsense! At least this time there is some talk of keeping open (and maybe even building more) special schools.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

So, if your child has been kicked out for bad behavior, what do you do?

Here are my thoughts on it, having been through it ourselves with our eldest:

1. DO NOT sit around blaming yourself for being useless parents. That won't help anyone. Of course your parenting could improve - that is true for everyone. So read some books and do some learning, not moaning.

2. DO NOT sit around blaming the school. Even if they are useless, the most likely reason is their own lack of resources (blame the education authority, blame the government, blame the voters). The teachers may not be able to help your child, but that reflects a lack of training and lack of time, not a lack of concern.

3. DO make every representation to the local education authority (LEA) to find an alternative appropriate service for your child. Don't be aggressive, don't be rude, but do be very persistent and very insistent. If need be, see your politicians and even your newspapers.

4. DO be prepared to consider alternative placements, such as special schools or even residential placements. Better to deal with it now, than to have your child growing up with the bad behaviors!

5. DO consider the possibility of problems such as ADHD and Asperger's being at the root of the problems. The right environment makes and enormous difference for children such as these, which is why it is crucial to find the right type of school environment.

6. DO NOT try to pretend that your child is an angel and everyone is wrong about his behavior. Much better to agree there is a problem and be seen to be doing your very best to get it sorted out - but for that you need help from the LEA. 

Well, that's just a few quick thoughts about it. Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home.

And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.

The author of Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School is Dr Noel Swanson MD

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